Today’s news:

The ball dropped — on him!

84th Precinct

Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Sad resolution

A thief stole electronics out of a car parked on Jay Street — while the victim was watching the ball drop in Times Square.

The vehicle’s owner told cops that he left his wheels near York Street on Dec. 31, and headed into the so-called “Crossroads of the World” for the annual festival of shivering and bladder control.

When he returned to his car at 11 pm on New Year’s Day, he discovered that the side window had been shattered and his iPad, laptop and cash were gone.

Armed nut

A gun-toting thug shot a man in the testicles inside the Farragut Houses on Jan. 2.

The victim — who isn’t a resident of the housing project on Nassau Street near Gold Street — told cops that he was in the lobby at about 2 am when the thug walked in and shot him several times in the leg and privates. The jerk fled, and the poor guy was taken to the hospital where he is in stable condition.

Metrotech theft

A quick-handed creep swiped a woman’s purse as she exited the Jay Street-Metrotech station on Dec. 23.

The woman said she was walking out of the station, which is near Willoughby Street, at about 11 am when the perp ran by and grabbed her purse — which contained a cellphone, cash and cards.

iDiot

A 15-year-old boy assaulted and robbed another kid on DeKalb Avenue on Dec. 27 — but cops later collared him.

The victim, also 15, told cops that he was near Flatbush Avenue Extension at about 3:50 pm when two teens attacked, punching him and choking him repeatedly. One of the cretins took his iPod and fled — but the battered boy gave chase, caught up with his attacker and held him down until cops arrived. The accomplice is on the loose.

C snatch

A straphanger stole a woman’s iPhone on the C train in the Hoyt and Schermerhorn streets station on Dec. 27.

The victim said that she was holding her phone out when the train pulled in at about 5:45 pm. That’s when the thief ran by, snagged the expensive device and ran out of the train car just before the doors closed.

Bejailed

A dastardly dunce attacked the owner of a Smith Street hat store, then stole a bunch of chapeaux before cops ended the reign of terror on Dec. 29.

The owner of Be Jeweled told cops that she watched the jerk stuffing hats into his pockets at the store, which is at Dean Street, at about 9:30 pm. She confronted him, and he wrestled her to the ground before trying to flee. Luckily, some passersby grabbed the guy and held him for cops, who nabbed the man, cap in hand.

Hair apparent

A burglar who broke into a furniture store on Willoughby Street on Dec. 30 left some weird evidence — a clump of hair and a pair of glasses.

The owners of Futon Furniture Warehouse, which is between Bridge and Lawrence streets, entered the store at 9 pm to find that a flat-screen TV and cellphone had been stolen. Upon further investigation, they found a large pile of hair on one of their couches, and the spectacles on the fire escape.

— Andy Campbell

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