Today’s news:

Thugs carjack 57-year-old on Shore Parkway

Brooklyn Daily

61st Precinct

Sheepshead Bay—Manhattan Beach—Gravesend—Midwood

Left flat

Two goons jumped a 57-year-old man on Shore Parkway on Oct. 23, making off with his 2011 Acura.

The victim said he was approaching E. 14th Street at 7:15 pm when the suspects attacked, leaving him with a concussion. They then swiped the keys to the victim’s car — and sped off with his wheels.

School shenanigans

Cops arrested a 16-year-old who they said tried to rob a classmate inside James Madison High School on Bedford Avenue on Oct. 24.

The 17-year-old victim said he was walking to a class inside the building near Quentin Road when the teenage punk threw him against a wall and put him in a headlock. The thief then tried to empty his victim’s pockets, but ran off empty-handed.

Knocked down

A thief jumped a 27-year-old woman on E. Third Street on Oct. 22, taking the woman’s cellphone and purse.

The victim was approaching Ocean Court at 12:25 am when the thief crept up on her from behind.

“Give me your bag,” the thief screamed before he shoved the woman to the ground and ran off with her property.

Bay Academy boobs

Two teens held up a 12-year-old boy outside of Bay Academy on Emmons Avenue on Aug. 3, but one of them didn’t get away with the crime.

Police say that the teens, one of whom carried a knife, stopped the youngster in front of the school at 8:50 am, taking $1 and a cellphone.

The 12-year-old, who apparently knew the muggers, didn’t report the incident until Oct. 21, and cops say they quickly apprehended a 15-year-old girl involved in the heist.

Beaten for bag

Cops say a teenage girl attacked a peer on Quentin Road on Oct. 20, taking her schoolbag.

The 16-year-old victim was approaching E. 21st Street at 3:20 pm when the thief walked up to her and asked if she could use her phone.

She then punched the teen — knocking her to the ground — and ran off with her bag.

The 16-year-old was later hospitalized with a broken ring finger.

Market raid

Three thieves, one of which was wielding a knife, held up workers at an Avenue S mini market on Oct. 20, taking $600.

Workers said that the thugs barrelled inside their store near Coney Island Avenue at 5 am — but the guy with the knife did all the talking.

“Give me the money, f--king guy!” the thief screamed as he waved his knife and went behind the counter, emptying the cash register. The other two men acted as lookouts, the victims told police.

Bookbag grab

A thief jumped a 25-year-old on E. Ninth Street on Oct. 15, taking his bookbag.

The victim was approaching Quentin Road at 8 pm when the robbery took place.

Attacked with bottle

A thug cracked a beer bottle over a 39-year-old man’s head on Knapp Street on Oct. 23, leaving him with a cut to his ear.

The victim was approaching the gas station near Avenue X at 8:30 pm when he was attacked.

Precious pinching

A thief broke into an Allen Avenue apartment on Oct. 24, taking five Precious Moments figurines.

The victim said he left his home near Bevy Court at 10 am. When he returned at 2:50 pm, his apartment had been ransacked. The figurines, $1,700, and an X-Box were missing. Police believe the thief entered through a kitchen window.

Repelling in

A thief raided a Nostrand Avenue grocery on Oct. 21 — after cutting a hole in the store’s roof.

Workers opened the store between Avenues W and X at 6:40 am to find a hole in the ceiling and more than $12,000 in cash, cigarettes and phone cards missing.

— Thomas Tracy

Reach reporter Thomas Tracy at ttracy@cnglocal.com or by calling (718) 260-2525.

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