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The buried treasure at the bottom of Stan’s pockets

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Every few weeks, when I empty the pockets before sending my clothing to the cleaners, I come across notes that I wrote to myself. The following are from the backs of business cards, matchbook covers and napkins.

Gentlemen: How much time do you spend on personal grooming? That includes shaving, washing and picking out clothes. A British study found that men now spend 81 minutes a day while women spend only 75 minutes a day on personal grooming. I have two thoughts on that. 1) Women don’t shave every day, and 2) The study was done in the UK. Would those results be the same on this side of the pond?

To Matthew: Here’s an old quote that you might want to bring to your discussion group. “Show me a young conservative and I’ll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old liberal and I’ll show you someone with no brains.”

And when you do so, ask your group if they think that statement is as true today as it was when it was said by the Prime Minister Winston Churchill, a man who ranks among history’s most astute and eloquent observers of human nature.

Staying on topic: “The Iron Lady” is a flick out now about Margaret Thatcher, the first and only female prime minister of the UK. Here’s another interesting quote that you might want to bring to your discussion crowd with that in mind: “The trouble with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money.”

So, Matthew, your friends if they believe Ms. Thatcher was correct. Also, ask them where socialism is working today.

The new year is less than a month old and I’m curious to know how many New Year Resolutions you have broken. It took me less than a week to break two of them, the one about dieting and the one that shouted “Spend less, save more.”

The funny thing is that I broke them both at the same time and have been breaking them at least three times a week.

When we were introduced to the great deals on Restaurant.com and we learned about the 80 percent off the cost of certificates, we bought a more than a few “$25 off” at two bucks each. We’ve been using them.r With a list of 18,000 restaurants to choose from, you can forget the diet and scratch the save — maybe. Hooray for the Veal Parmigiana and whole wheat pasta dinners!

Christmas has come and gone but the “war” on it lingers. The following is a short conversation I heard on a call-in radio show.

“The local trash service folks are asking any of you that still have a holiday tree to put it out before the very bad snowy weather sets in.”

“What kind of tree?”

“A holiday tree.”

“What holiday does it signify?”

“Christmas.”

“So why don’t you call it a Christmas tree?”

CLICK!

• • •

Mitt Romney is on the road to becoming the GOP candidate for the most important elected office in America; yet, most of us do not know his real first name. Ya’ think I’m kidding? Go ahead. Ask the gal at the next desk. “Without looking it up what is Mitt’s first name? Most of the people I asked answered Mitchell. I took the time to look it up and here it is. Drum roll please — Willard. Wasn’t there a nauseating movie about rodents by that name?

Joran van der Sloot pleaded guilty in the murder of a 21 year old Peruvian girl. There was so much evidence against him that he really had no other choice. They had everything except a video of the actual crime. But, then again, there was no video tape of Casey Anthony or O.J.

A recent letter to the editor referred to the many entitlements given to us by liberal legislators as safety nets. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net saying that for far too many of us the safety net has become a hammock — and it’s a very expensive hammock.

Stanley Gershbein's column appears every Monday on BrooklynDaily.com.

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Reader Feedback

NSF from Sheepshead Bay says:
As you write: “Show me a young conservative and I’ll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old liberal and I’ll show you someone with no brains.”

But you forgot to finish the thought: Show me a biased columnist with his heap up his ass and he can't separate the fairness from his bias!
Jan. 24, 2012, 7:36 pm
Milton from Canarsie says:
To NSF: Whoa! I adamantly know you meant to say "biased president," surely, not columnist.
Our president is as biased as is unfairly possible! He can't separate his extravant life--golfing and vacationing--from the simple lives of us common folk.
Yes, Obama has a heap of words without actions up his arse. Much law, but little justice.
Jan. 25, 2012, 7:45 pm
NSF from Sheepshead Bay says:
Milton: Show me a president, who,since Ike, hasn't golfed or extravagantly vacationed and I'll give you my entire savings account!
Jan. 26, 2012, 2:55 am

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