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Carmine Santa Maria is the greatest columnist in the world

Carmine’s got a few words for a few things

Brooklyn Daily

I’m madder than Brooklyn Cyclone mascot Sandy the Seagull when she realized she could be accidentally mistaken for the evil “cyclone” named “Sandy” that just ripped through her hometown over the fact that this hurricane has changed everything and all the tabloids care about is this Petraeus scandal.

Look, I even hear they want to change the name of Little Orphan Annie’s dog from “Sandy” to “Chita.”

But when the paper boy delivers my daily letters to my doorfront, all I read about is some guy who cheated on his wife?

Now I don’t need to tell you that the outpouring of support we Brooklynites have received is incredible, but the big dailies don’t seem to care!

Take, f’rinstance, this e-mail I got from my old swimming teammate from Brooklyn Tech in 1953, when we were kings of the universe. (That’s right! I could swim like a fish! Now, it’s more like a beluga whale, or one of those cows that float near Florida.)

Oh, now’s the point in the column where I cut and paste from a free-mail. I’m sure glad my grandson taught me how to do that. Incredible time saver!

“We are only two of the millions of Texans who want to send heartfelt concerns, caring thoughts, and best wishes to all of youse who have suffered from Sandy’s disastrous attack on New York and New Jersey.

“When we looked at the total scope of this tragedy, we can only hope and pray that our teammates have survived with limited impact. While the loss of power may still delay the arrival of this note, we wanted to touch base and convey our hopes that everyone is holding up OK and that you are on a path to recovery.”

Signed, Bob and Carol Bailie.

And that’s just one of many the ol’Screecher received!

So apparently the rest of the nation is focusing on our real problems, but here in New York, the papers are blind to it (present company excluded, of course).

The first day of the Petraeus sex scandal, the Daily News ran seven full pages on it. And then came the stories of the Bergen Beach, Bell Harbor, Seagate, Gerritson Beach, Brighton Beach, Coney Island, and even lower Manhattan’s disasters.

And to think that a soldier cheating on his wife should create such chaos that hogged the headlines. Perhaps to his devoted wife it was, but it didn’t deserve any of our attention. Some argue that “he was a four-star general and head of the CIA.”

Balderdash!

Now’s the point in the column where I completely change the subject just to confuse you.

In last week’s column I wrote about the topping off of Il Centro and, in it, reference all the great contributions made by the Italians.

Well, this week, in the name of equal time, I’d like to tell you about an Italian I’m not so proud of: Rep. Nancy Pelosi

Now, I hear she was terribly disappointed that the government-paid jet she commandeered for her own use as Speaker of the House was taken away.

Good!

So let me officially nominate Nancy Pelosi as Un Grande Disgraziata.

Her contributions to the United States are totally self-serving!

Gee, I let off a lot of steam with this column attacking the news media’s lust for lust, and nominating Nancy Pelosi as this country’s worst Italian American. Not bad.

Screech at you next week!

Read Carmine every Saturday on BrooklynDaily.com. E-mail him at DiegoVega@aol.com!

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