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Stan tackles the great bottled-water debate

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In the recent Barbra Streisand flick “Guilt Trip,” there’s a scene where Barbra, playing Joyce Brewster, refills her empty water bottles with sink water.

Very few of us admit to doing that, but I am sure there are more than just a few who do. We must find out the answer to the question “Is there enough of a difference between the bottled water we shlep from Waldbaum’s and the relatively inexpensive H20 that my college professor referred to as Aqua Tapparratta way back in 1958?” To help us find out our hostess had about 20 of us perform an experiment with her.

When everyone arrived, she pulled 14 cold bottles of water from her refrigerator. The brand labels were removed. Only the numerals one to seven were marked on the bottles. She then told us that there were two Poland Spring, two Dasani, two Great Value, two Sam’s Purified, two Nestle’s, two Nice Brand, and two bottles of plain sink water. There were also two sleeves of small paper cups on the counter.

Our job was to taste a bit of each and write down the numbers of which, in our opinion, tasted the best, the worst, and which we thought was the sink water. There was no real consensus of which tasted best and which tasted worst. The votes were scattered all over the place, and that included the sink water.

In fact, several of the guests chose the sink water as the best.

So much for making the investment in bottled water.

• • •

And another blown call by a Major League umpire affected the outcome of a game. We’ve had more than our fair share this season. Enough already.

When will baseball finally accept the technology of the instant replay? The argument by the umpires, who are dead set against replays, is that they will slow down an already slow game. That’s a crock.

The average argument between the managers and the umpires lasts between a10 and 15 minutes. We see the ump’s errors from several angles in less than two minutes. If anything, the use of the instant replay will do away with the arguments, and speed up the game.

• • •

The people that run the “Miss World” contest goofed big time by holding this year’s competition on the resort island of Bali and in Sentul. Sentul is an area near Jakarta the capital of Indonesia, the world’s most populous Muslim nation. The London-based Miss World Organization has succumbed to religious demands that the 139 women not wear bikinis. Tsk tsk.

Up until now a great portion of the pageant has been a body show, with most men legally ogling some of the most beautiful and talented females in the world. There is nothing wrong with looking at beautiful gals. Beach weather has arrived and the next time you’re on the sand at Brighton or Coney take a good look at the eyes of all the men around you. Looking and not touching is truly one of the masculine pleasures of life.

As old as I get, I still see no problem with window shopping. The Miss World Contest is a big, big money maker. I am wondering, how many fewer viewers will watch this year?

Read Stan Gershbein's column every Monday on

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Reader Feedback

An Old Friend from Canarsie says:
We ALWAYS kept a bottle of water in the fridge. We still do. It's clean, cold and cheap.
June 18, 2013, 4:47 am
BENNY from Sheepshead Bay says:
I don't mind the few bucks. The writer is correct. It's the shlep from Waldbaums up two flights that I don't like.
June 19, 2013, 1:18 pm
David from Mill Basin says:
I would rather drink tap water. I believe New Jersey water tastes horrible (though I understand it's filled with minerals), so bottled water presumably sells very well in N.J.
If the many folks stopped drinking bottled water, Asians (and others) would stop loading and pulling two water-bottle-stacked shopping carts like attached trains, and would starve for lack of the dollar, I think. I always wish I had a camera when I see that sight. It is hysterically strange, a sign of the times.
June 19, 2013, 6:04 pm

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