Happy birthday, Oscar — the golden statue turned 85 years young this past Sunday, but by the looks of this year’s celebration, I’m afraid he’s headed for life-support.
The monologue was cheeky, and at times down-right snarky and rude. Not even the venerable Capt. James T. Kirk, all the way from the future, was able to clean up the mess. Don’t you think that since the “Star Trek” star was so far into the future, there would be better ways to be rejuvenated in the next century? Sadly, the good-old captain looked like he was about ready for life-support himself.
Now there was a time when I actually got excited about watching the show. The red-carpet walk, the gowns, the stars, the opening monologue by Billy Crystal, the jokes, the acceptance speeches, the shear entertainment and spectacle of it all, and, of course, the anticipation of who would win. But recent years have left me flatter than “Paperman” and as lackluster as Bella in “Breaking Dawn Part II.”
Unfortunately, Seth MacFarlane, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Peter Brady from the “Brady Bunch,” came up a bit too short in the talented Mr. Emcee department.
Boobs? Really? An incredibly talented writer and comic such as MacFarlane, and all he could come up with is boobs. Better he should stick with the shtick of the sophomoric “Family Guy.”
The show sadly just doesn’t hold up to the anticipation any more. Not even the climactic moment of finding out who won is no longer a big deal. This year, there were no surprises in the bunch with the winners neatly sussed out way before Price Waterhouse even delivered the envelopes to the Dolby Theater. Was there any doubt that “Argo” would win for best picture? Or Adele would for the best song, “Skyfall?” Not at all.
However, even an old crank like myself did find a few moments to chuckle at and enjoy.
Jennifer Lawrence, who won for best actress in her role in “Silver Linings Playbook,” took one Oscar- worthy slip-and-fall on the way up to the podium. I can’t help it, it’s wrong, but whenever I see someone fall (even myself), I can’t hold back the guffaws.
Shirley Bassey belting out “Goldfinger,” and after all these years she still has the chops. And how can you not like Bond — James Bond — that is.
Last but not least — Sally Field. The Academy really does like her, but not enough to save her from the “Flying Nun” skit; it wasn’t funny. However to see MacFarlane fly in wearing a habit a la Sister Bertrille was a chuckler.
Oh well, there’s always next year.
Not for Nuthin,™ but the old gold man just ain’t what he used to be. Maybe the Academy can convince Billy Crystal to come back just one more time and bring back the glamour the spectacle, the talent — pretty please with caviar on top.
Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.Joanna DelBuono writes about national issues — including television — every Wednesday on BrooklynDaily.com. E-mail her at jdelbuono@
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