PLEASE pull the plug on ‘Two and a Half Men’

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Ashton Kutcher plus “Two and a Half Men” equals big disappointment.

I tuned in to watch this Monday’s second installment — after reading the rave reviews of the “spectacular” season opener — and I gotta say I was not impressed.

As Michael Kelso in “That ’70s Show” Ashton Kutcher was great. His comedic timing was spot-on as he bumbled through six seasons of the Fox sitcom as the not-too-bright resident hunk. After a whole bunch of not-so memorable films in which Kutcher perpetuated the dumb-as-lint character in “Dude, Where’s My Car,” “Guess Who” and in the very ridiculous “Punk’d” where Kutcher, the master prankster, takes aim and shoots down fellow celebrities, he took a run at respectably in “The Butterfly Effect,” “What Happens in Vegas” and “Cheaper by the Dozen” (I think his scene as the self-absorbed actor boyfriend who gets chomped in the crotch is one of his best).

However, his role in “Two and Half Men” as the very wealthy, very well- endowed, bachelor Walden Schmidt, who buys the house that was owned by Charlie Sheen’s character, Charlie Harper, I found the jokes hackneyed and crude.

I also expected better from Berta, played by Conchetta Farrell, whose voice-over fantasies were older than mold, contrived, and unfortunately expected. The half-homosexual skits with Charlie’s brother Alan, played by Jon Cryer, were as planned and formulaic as you can get. In fact, after the third stab, I felt as if I had washed down the whole show with a bottle of Infamil and needed to be burped.

There is a natural beginning, middle, and — thank God — end to all good shows, and by the end of Monday night’s half-hour, this one had unfortunately reached it. Charlie’s untimely death in a crash and burn was the longest jump over the shark that I’ve ever seen.

I’ll grant you that “Tiger Blood Sheen” crossed too many lines to have remained on the show, but without him, the producers should have just let the whole thing die a peaceful death. Putting it on life support with the introduction of a divorced Internet tycoon who suffers from arrested development just put it on a ventilator — and it is now waiting for the internal organs to fail, which, if network is merciful, will happen sooner rather than later.

Not for Nuthin, but Charlie Sheen was really the heart, lungs and soul, (no matter how twisted that is) of the show. Sorry Ashton, but “Two and Half Men” was Charlie Harper’s gig, not Walden Schmidt’s.

Posted 12:00 am, September 28, 2011
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Reader feedback

neohemp from Ptown says:
Wow who —— in your cornflakes
Sept. 28, 2011, 2:33 am
savannah trenton from prospect park says:
Amen....Ashton is not funny ...period.
Sept. 28, 2011, 2:46 am
Jules from Charlotte NC says:
Agreed. No room in Malibu for Michael Kelso. It was barely funny on 70's show.
Sept. 28, 2011, 3:06 am
Missyfloth from Sunnyvale says:
Hey, i'm enjoying it so far, 2 episodes in...... Let's see what happens before you shoot it down, sheesh!
Sept. 28, 2011, 3:07 am
Wild Imaginations from Danville, Ca says:
Yeah, the first part was ok but the second half just didn't cut it for me. You're trying to merge a divorced dork and his son with a married dumb ass who is not funny. Tired of dumb, stupid characters like this. They don't make sense.

Remember the days of Laurel and Hardy or Abbott and Costello? Even the 3 stooges had a funny and smart character in their shows.

We're an intelligent audience. We like something funny but with some intelligence in it as well. Make Ashton's character smarter or kill the whole show. It just doesn't work for me.

So sorry that Charlie Sheen had to go off the deep end like that but I guess it was time for him to go. If I was his employer, I would've shut the whole show down and not do anything with 2 and 1/2 men. It was Charlie's show and it will always be his. Maybe in time, the show can return later on.
Sept. 28, 2011, 3:17 am
ben from nashville says:

Should've gave the character to Steve Carroll from the office.
Sept. 28, 2011, 3:24 am
Peirre from ca says:
Give it some time before you entitle a death certificate. I liked it so far, besides they just need to get the ball rolling.
Sept. 28, 2011, 3:28 am
Harris from India says:
I thought after the premiere, damn I couldn't but enjoy the episode how so much I did not want to. But now I am happy that the second dose sucked enough . Just can't wait to see Charlie's new show.
Good luck Charlie.
You've got a million more hardcore fans from India.
Sept. 28, 2011, 4:39 am
MM from Finland says:
1st episode I really hated Ashton Kutcher and the way he played Walden. 2nd episode, he's growing on me. So, maybe if Joanna watches the 3rd episode she'll start to come around.

I'm still on the fence whether I'll continue to watch or not, but there's something about Jon Cryer that keeps me coming back. I think it's my crush on Duckie.
Sept. 28, 2011, 8:23 am
vs says:
Bring back Charlie!!!!!!!!!
Sept. 28, 2011, 9:01 am
H20Fwler from Mid West says:
The show flat out sucks now. I hate to see it go out this way, liked Kutcher on That 70's but this doesn't work at all. It is lame and completely predictable and dull.Robert Downey Jr would have rocked in that role. I have deleted the DVR from recording it,, I am over it! Cancel it while there are still fond memories of a once great show.
Sept. 28, 2011, 9:35 am
Michele from Marina says:
I love the new take on the show and as with anything in life believe in giving it a chance.
Sept. 28, 2011, 9:50 am
Jaclyn from Jersey says:
Tell me about it. The premiere had a couple good enough jokes, but they were all based more on timing rather than good acting. I don't think Charlie will ever come back to the show, and they really should just let it go. It will never be as successful or funny without Sheen. Plus, I absolutely despise Ashton.
Sept. 28, 2011, 9:52 am
cak from ohio says:
terrible...not even getting close and not funny....please LET IT DIE!!!
Sept. 28, 2011, 11:11 am
rocco from long beach says:
The show and writing was brilliant ( although sometimes crude for some people) but it was most always funny. Charlie Sheen it appears was not acting but depicting his real life. I feel sorry for how he flamed out but I think its time for Chuck Lorre to look himself in the mirror and admit that the show is NOTHING without Charlie Harper. He should just create a new show... Besides, since Jake is now 18, the 1/2 men thing doesn't even make sense. He seems more of a man than Walden Schmidt. I would have loved to see a plot where Lindsay won the lottery and she bought the house. I'd love to see a sitcom with Alan living with Lindsay. You could keep Berta and the other characters. Lindsay's sharp tongue and wit would be a lot funnier than a Walden Schmidt. Does anyone agree with me? Are you listening Chuck?
Sept. 28, 2011, 11:33 am
Nc says:
uh---for the poster above ---the writer wrote Two and a Half men about Charlie Sheen's life....Then convinced Charlie Sheen to be in it.....that was why it was "Charlie's Show " it was written about him to begin with......

The lame argument that they came up with about Charlie's real life not being okay to represent their "family" show is a hoot. If this is a family show, it's the most dysfunctional family in the world.

Bring back Charlie.
Sept. 28, 2011, 1:08 pm
Nc says:
Hit enter too quick....before Charlie had even worked on the show, he had already been in the public eye for "not so good" deeds.

Spending thousands on prostitutes (jokes that they put in the show), doing drugs (jokes that they put in the show), having women troubles (jokes that they put in the show)....the only thing that they didn't steal from his personal life was that he was a father at a young age.

Charlie didn't change - the execs did.
Sept. 28, 2011, 1:11 pm
Judy from Philadelphia says:
It's not the actors, nor the plot. Give them some decent material with which to work. What happened to the writers??? Blame them.
Sept. 28, 2011, 2:22 pm
Lee from Riverside says:
Charlie Sheen was the heart and soul of this comedy. Ashton Kutcher just has no chemistry with the rest of the cast and he doesn't bring anything to the table. Chuck Lorre was foolish for firing Sheen as all his hyper-manic behavior made the fans want to see more of him. As Madonna learned. All publicity is good publicity especially when your star is acting out just as his alter ego did on Two and a Half Men. Hey, its not too late! We all know Rose is nuts and she could have faked Charlies death just like she faked her wedding to the mannequin! Charlie Harper is being held in a European dungeon by Rose but escapes and comes back finding Chealsea and Mia in bed with Waldon!
Sept. 28, 2011, 4:08 pm
debbie from ma. says:
You know, they never did show the body and we only have Rose's word on his demise. They should kiss ad makeup and bring Charlie back. It's over without him.
Sept. 28, 2011, 4:32 pm
Bob from Nevada says:
The writers and actors are great. The first half was funny as ever. When Waldon showed up, it went flat. He's the wrong guy. Alan should have been caretaker of the house, renting it out (to make the payment)on a weekly basis. This way the existing staff could carry the shows with guest star appearances. Use this model until one clicks.
Sept. 28, 2011, 6:12 pm
pptin from O.C. says:
They need to do whatever it takes to bring Charlie Sheen back...otherwise...see ya Two and a half Men...
Sept. 28, 2011, 7:45 pm
K Davis says:
there was a way to make it work, but this story line was not even close. Charlie could die quietly in his sleep, he is happily married to one woman. He would not have been broke, in debt and losing his house.
Rose doesn't need the house she had more money than him anyway. Charlie would have left his home to Berta with a request let Jake spend time here if he wants. Charlie provided for Jake to go to college. Allen has to go. Remember 'Berta's really worthless daughter she visits mom with new guy Ashton Kutcher. Worthless daughter slips out in the night her true love got out of jail Berta wants Ashton to live at home. Ashton is a more mature Michael Kelso, will bond with Jake which will have Jake spending weekends there again. There can still be some attractive ladies passing through for Ashton and Jake. With Jake Berta and Ashton living together it has a better chance of good humor and to be able to go.
Sept. 28, 2011, 7:47 pm
Frowny says:
Charlie is assumed dead but theres no body so the house is in limbo. Alan can't sell it or pay the mortgage. Walden wants to buy it but agrees to rent it and to let Alan and Jake stay there until its clear for him to buy it. That leaves Charlie able to come back and make at least a few cameos or even some episodes where he is with Rose and trying to escape from her. They should have redone Kuchner's character to make him far more nerdy and annoying to Alan because Jake instantly likes him and they become friends. Maybe Walden hooks up with Kandy. It could have worked, right now the show stinks. Or maybe Rose married Charlie and got the house and decided to let Kuchner stay there as well because he's mentally ill and needed a home. He could have been a discharged navy Seal or soldier who constantly has wild mood swings and scares the crap out of Alan by having PTSD.
Sept. 29, 2011, 5:48 am
cusigee from RSM says:
I liked the first half, but the 2nd half was terrible. John Cryer deserves better and he's doing all he can do to save the show from Kelso - who might be nice to look at, but offers little to the show. His dumb act is not funny. I'm thinking that unless they figure out Charlie's death was not REALLY Charlie - maybe a sick hoax by Rose, that this is the end. I miss Rose and I miss Jake but most of all I miss Charlie
Sept. 29, 2011, 10:16 am
Pat from New Jersey says:
Hated the first episode, hated the 2nd one even more. Just too dumb of a role for is not funny, it seems so forced, and I am so terribly disappointed. I agree with a comment made above, it is the writers who need to bring this show back....this character is just not going to cut it.
Sept. 29, 2011, 5:45 pm
Matt from PA says:
Can the show or better yet the producers. No Charlie no show!!! I'm done watching this until Charlie comes back from the dead!!!!
Sept. 29, 2011, 7:08 pm
Carol from Virginia says:
What a shame that such a great show has deteriorated to this nonsense. Is there any audience that would find it funny? Twelve year olds, perhaps? Anyway, after two lame episodes, my husband and I are done with it.
Sept. 29, 2011, 7:09 pm
Chaim from Melrose Place says:
Sept. 29, 2011, 7:51 pm
Natalie from Cali says:
Ditto, couldn't have said it better myself. Since there wasn't a body can we bring back Charlie by saying he is tied up by psycho chick not killed in subway and we find him and save the show...
Sept. 30, 2011, 2:40 pm
Lee Aronsohn from CBS says:
Chuck Lorre's vanity cards are the reason why him and Charlie got into those arguments. Go read them before you cast judgement on some ones personal life.
Oct. 3, 2011, 9:45 am
Lee from Riverside says:
The Vanity Cards were just that. Vanity. Chuck Lorre is the producer, not the actor, not the writer, not the comic genius. He is a "suit' that ruined the show. Was Charlie out of it for a while? Yes. But instead of firing him he could have put the show on "pause" until Charlie got through his antics and straightened out. That's been Charlies pattern. Its Charlie Harper's pattern too. Its Lorre that needs to be removed or step aside and let someone else take over. Someone like Lee Aronsohn? Firing Sheen was just a case of Lorre's vanity.
Oct. 4, 2011, 4:08 pm
They Killed off Charlie...Now, PLEASE, PLEASE,PLEASE, KILL THE SHOW. It is AWFUL. It was brilliant before. NOW its a total disappointment. STOP IT !
Oct. 8, 2011, 2:06 pm
Sarah says:
Agree fully with this. Have attempted now to watch two episodes and both are disappointing and a complete let down. Seeing Charlie Harper in trouble? Brilliant. Seeing whiny and suicidal Walden Schmidt? Depressing.

And how many of the insults did Chuck Lorre have a hand in creating? With each new "comic" one-liner that slates Charlie and praises Walden, it's one more reason to resent Ashton's role in the show. Seeing every woman fawn over Walden is ridiculous.

It's a shame Two and a Half Men didn't adopt the same strategy as NCIS. When Don Bellisario & Mark Harmon had the feud, the man behind the scenes left - not the one in front of the camera. How unfortunate that Chuck Lorre didn't do the same.

However, for Chuck Lorre's other cast members, it's going to be one tough lesson to remember! Who will want to argue with him now? In the end though, I hope this backfires on Chuck Lorre and the show fails.
Oct. 8, 2011, 2:24 pm
trisha says:
I think it is a great show, even without Charlie. It was Alan, Berta and Jake that make the show funny and let's not forget their Mom. I still think it would have been awesome if they had brought somebody like Chris Rock to show up as the long lost brother who was the product of an affair long ago. Now that would have been comedy. Still, I will tune in to watch.
Oct. 11, 2011, 3:10 pm
Michelle Ramirez says:
RIP 2 1/2 men...Lorre is an idiot who made a very wrong move....some actors are geniouses even with all their problems. Look at Robert Downey Jr. Awesome actor who used to have lots of issues.Sheen was the only one who could play a show based on him. Sure he hurt your ego but who cares when you draw the kind of ratings this show did/does. It is a brilliant show we watch for Charlie and his antics..Lorre should be getting ready to look for a new job. He ruined the best show on television! I'm sure Ashton is a decent Guy but one thing is for sure and that is he definatley is not capable of filling Sheena shoes
Oct. 16, 2011, 3:27 pm
Rez from Aus says:
Won't watch it anymore
Oct. 17, 2011, 5:49 pm
Chris from Sydney says:
Well I have to agree.

Kushter is terrible and often annoying.

They have reuined my favorite show. They would have been better off just leaving the cast as is without Kushter.

In considering Charlies replacement the only criteria must have been ensuring the actor was of the same faith as the producer. No other reason to hire him!
Oct. 18, 2011, 9 pm
Chris from Sydney says:
Well I have to agree.

Kushter is terrible and often annoying.

They have reuined my favorite show. They would have been better off just leaving the cast as is without Kushter.

In considering Charlies replacement the only criteria must have been ensuring the actor was of the same faith as the producer. No other reason to hire him!
Oct. 18, 2011, 9:03 pm
Danny from Aust says:

So much hype about Ashton but the reality is - It is so painful watching him on this show! It is an insult to the viewers to replace Charlie Sheen with this pathetic guy - he'll probably do good in porno show where he does not have to talk and 'try' to be funny. Half-way through the episode with AK in it, I just have to switch channel. All Charlie Sheen has to do is twitch and I burst into laughter. With AK, it is as if I am eternally waiting for a punch line in his pathetic dialogue. A big man acting retarded- I have to ask myself - what's funny about this guy?! What a let down! I MISS CHARLIE SHEEN!!!

Oct. 19, 2011, 1:43 am
Pete says:
Just one word, SUCKS!
Oct. 20, 2011, 9:25 pm
Anna says:
Worst show on TV now that Michael Kelso is on the show.
Oct. 20, 2011, 9:26 pm
Anna says:
Plays his part the same way he played Kelso the show needs to be cancelled now.
Oct. 20, 2011, 9:26 pm
Rita says:
OMG this show went form hot to not!
Oct. 20, 2011, 9:28 pm
Vikki says:
This show is terrible not funny at all Jon cryer is the only good one on the show. walden is awful!!!!!
Nov. 14, 2011, 9:20 pm
Tom Popcorn from Lake Forest, Ca. says:
This show seems to be getting a little better lately now that they've kind of put a muzzle on Kelso and his weak ass sense of humor. Who laughs at this guys jokes? The most unfunny guy on tv. Shame on the network for insulting the viewers with this ridiculous Kelso character. Bring Charlie back stat!!!
Nov. 30, 2011, 2:10 am
ross cahill says:
i want charlie back too i hate the new guy
Dec. 15, 2011, 11:02 am
Pete from Chicago says:
End it no one wants to watch Two Men and Kelso!
This show is over stick a fork in it. It's done!
Dec. 19, 2011, 10:40 pm
Daryl from Milwaukee says:
Please end this it's the worst show on tv now.
Dec. 19, 2011, 10:41 pm
Daryl from Milwaukee says:
Please end this show it is the worst thing on TV!!!!!
Dec. 19, 2011, 10:42 pm
Kat from Santee says:
Better bury this show's starting to STINK!!!!
Jan. 2, 2012, 11:23 pm
Thom from Ohio says:
This show just blow's now!
Jan. 9, 2012, 9:46 pm
Laura says:
Please take this show off the air OR bring our Charlie back!!!!Ashton sucks.
Feb. 21, 2012, 12:22 am
MagX from Michigan says:
From busting out laughter to not even a whimper. That's the old show to the new.
Other characters that were spot on with the connection to Charley are not showing up in the new show. Alan Harper
can not carry this one by himself.
March 21, 2012, 10:23 pm
YouMama from Las vegas says:
CBS - please pull the plug on the "new" 2.5 Men. Please !
It is beyond awful !
Sept. 25, 2012, 11:11 am
Demi Much More from Los Angeles says:
In some cases negative media is good. It doesn't apply to CBS's current Two and a Half Men. In the long run, this negative feeling about this current show will come to rule and the pieces will be for CBS to care.

It lost the whole point.

It is so artificial.
Sept. 25, 2012, 11:15 am
Demi Much More from Los Angeles says:
current CBS's "2 0.5 Men" is horrible.
Sept. 25, 2012, 11:16 am
Demi More from Los Angeles says:
unplug it
Sept. 25, 2012, 11:16 am
Charly Seen from Las Vegas Baby says:
this show is so bad that I love it
Sept. 25, 2012, 11:19 am
Charly Seen from Las Vegas says:
it so bad that I love it ! yes baby!
Sept. 25, 2012, 11:20 am
larry from colorado says:
Kutcher is pathetic. I can not stand to look at him, it is worse to hear him speak. Please just end it.
Oct. 14, 2012, 5:38 pm

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