Hugh Laurie House MD: The Final Episode

And I thought the ending of the Soprano's was bad

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As FOX closed the door and turned the key on its very long-running and very profitable series “House” and I watched as the two doomed doctors rode off into the sunset, the only thing that comes to mind is “phooey” and “why?”

How does a nearly crippled, pill-popping, higher-than-a-kite doctor who falls through a floor, inhales smoke from a burning warehouse filled with toxic fumes for an hour, wind up surviving and a escaping the blaze as the building collapses around his head, by sneaking out the back door and then miraculously switching medical records with the real dead guy only to run away with his best bud Dr. Wilson?

Through the magic of special effects and a very weird staff of writers, that’s how.

I confess I am a lapsed “House” fan — I stopped watching after Dr. Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein) left the show — but I decided to tune in to the series finale, sacrificing a night of “Eureka.”

What a waste of a sacrifice.

I would have enjoyed it more had Dr. Gregory House really died. All this slight of hand, plot twisting, mumbo-jumbo was just too much for me to swallow and an insult to every “House” fan out there.

I was always impressed with the show’s honesty through the many years that I was a fan. Week after week, patients died, doctors were flawed, mistakes were made, people hurt. It was real, no sugar coating, no apology for human frailties, and even though it seemed that cures were (drum roll please) pulled out of a hat, each show ended realistically within the boundaries of the circumstances.

But this? Come on now. There is no way House could have survived. No one, in fact, could have survived, not even Superman (but that was a different show).

House, high on pills and breathing toxic smoke for the entire show, except for the times when, through the clever use of back-and-forth poop, he was in the hospital caring for the dying ex-stockbroker and heroin junkie who ended up dead, falls through the flaming floor down at least two stories onto his bad leg, only to be knocked senseless and lie in a smoke-filled room, to then arise like the phoenix from the ashes, walk to the front door, appear to Drs. Wilson and Foreman, have the upper floor collapse around him in a blazing ball of glory and escape through the back door. I couldn’t breathe and I was on the other side of the tube.

Can we all say “Oksie doksie, rapskie upskie?”

The end of “House” certainly beat out the fade to black “Sopranos” when it comes to taking the cheesy way out, by at least a bottle or two of Vicodin.

Not for Nuthin, but I wish I’d downed a pill or two and not sacrificed Sheriff Jack and crew for this.

Joanna DelBuono writes about national issues — and television — every Wednesday on BrooklynDaily.com. E-mail her at jdelbuono@cnglocal.com.
Updated 9:59 am, May 24, 2012: Updated for more clarity.
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Reader feedback

Lissa from F-bush says:
It's "Sopranos," not "Soprano's."

It's "lie," not "lay."

It's "breathe," not "breath."

"Stockbroker" is one word.

I won't get into the punctuation.
May 23, 2012, 3:46 am
Baldizm from Nc says:
If you like Eureka you have no excuse to make such stupid comments. I wish you had not watched this episode. And you are a Huddy, that tells all!
May 23, 2012, 5:28 pm
Anne from Mass. says:
Please don't presume to speak for all House fans when you state that the episode was an insult to House fans. I disagree. Events don't have to be true to reality to make good television. The good doctor hallucinated a great deal and for all we know, the whole ending with Wilson could have been a dream. To me, the events in this episode shouldn't be taken literally. It's the message being conveyed by House's thoughts that counts. If you look at the whole series, you could certainly site many instances of exaggeration and implausibility. Yet the characters and the message of the show ring true.
May 23, 2012, 7:02 pm
Dooshreaderaina from E says:
Why does Joanna DelBuono writes about national issues — and television? How does she have a job?

From funeral, to stoop, to motorcycles on a bridge could have been weeks you idiot...it was never specifically stated "next day"... Ya usually doctors leave hospital's in teams to swab under patients sinks every 4th episode when you used to watch...youre an idot..looking to hate...It brought tears to my eyes the ending, the writing that explored human beings mindset while contemplating their death...sadly I tuned in late...but I thought the planting of the teeth was his plan all along and then when it didnt go exactly as planned-he started to give up? I dunno-but I will buy the series as a statement of fy to jodoosha you...what an ass
May 24, 2012, 1:17 am
Karen from all of them says:
First off, let me agree that it sucked. Now let me address a few points:

He was high on Heroin.

He had hours between the building exploding and needing to switch the dental records. The building exploded at night (for the sake of argument midnight) They pulled a body out at dawn (say... 5 am) and transported it to the morgue.

Here's where the biggest plot hole lies: He had 6 hours to get home and/or get to the hospital -without his cane, thus slowing him up- and with nobody seeing him, switch the records, plant the name tag and bug out of his house.

He then had to buy a couple of burn phones and plant one on Wilson.

Seriously? No... too much fantasy, too much deus ex machina.
May 24, 2012, 8:21 am
Isabella says:
I was satisfied with the end, deus Et machina and all. The time could have been less than it seemed that House was in the building, as hallucinations are timeless in many ways. It was not perfect but I was glad House was able to realize that he should save himself to help Wilson...I was glad to see Stacy and Cameron. It wasn't thé best episode
E er, but good enough for me and many
Other fans whom I know. Swan Song was wonderful. I will
Greatly miss House, but glad to have had the fun of it. You know, all, it was a story, not real life...
June 10, 2012, 2:02 pm

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